Rabban Gamliel mourns for his slave

Written by Rabbi Elliott Karstadt — 9 May 2022

The Mishnah tells the story of Rabban Gamliel, one of the most powerful sages in a time when it was still normal for Jewish people to own slaves. One of his slaves, who was particularly beloved to him, died. When Tobi died, Rabban Gamliel sat in mourning for him – which was not a response that many would have expected, for the death of a slave in that time. In fact, his students even called him up on it: did you not teach us, they ask, that one should not mourn for a slave? Rabban Gamliel replies that this situation is different – that Tobi was special to him.

In this week’s Torah portion we are told that there are just seven categories of relative for whom we are permitted to fully mourn.

Counter to that narrative is the example of Rabban Gamliel – and there are many others. Relationships that may not be categorized so easily.

On this week’s kaddish list, as with almost every week, we recite the names of loved ones of members of this community, not all of whom fall into those conventional or traditional categories. We mourn our grandparents, our aunts, uncles, friends, neighbours, teachers, the person we once sat next to at shul every week – there are as many different relationships as there are people in the world.

We mourn, and we hope that through that mourning the memory of those we have lost might be a blessing to us.

The blessing of a truly loving and supportive community (which we aspire to be), is that it allows us to step outside of the formal definitions and to speak more directly to the hearts of those in pain – however mourning is happening, whoever that mourning is for.

So, wherever you are, whoever you are in mourning for, we stand with you as a community and say the traditional Jewish words of consolation:

HaMakom yenachem etchem betoch she’ar haavelim – may the Everpresent One comfort you, along with all those who mourn.