Dvar Torah: Vayetze: Seeing the Unspoken, Stop the Ripple. Given by Catherine Becker

Written by Writings & Sermons by others — 28 November 2025

Jewish Women’s Aid

JWA Shabbat 2025 DVAR TORAH
VAYETZE: Seeing the Unspoken, Stopping the Ripple
Ziona Handler, VAWG Outreach Lead

In Vayetze we encounter a household filled with love, longing, rivalry and silence.
Lavan manipulates and deceives everyone around him, his daughters, his son in law and even his household. Leah and Rachel have no say in their own marriages. Their consent is neither sought nor recorded. It is a striking contrast to an earlier generation when Rebecca was asked directly, “Will you go with this man?” Her voice was heard, theirs is not. From the outset, the Torah shows us that power and control sit with Lavan, not with Leah or Rachel, and the harm begins there.
At the heart of the parsha is Leah, unseen and unheard yet profoundly noticed by God.
“And God saw that Leah was ostracised and He opened her womb.” (Bereishit 29:31)
Leah’s pain is invisible to those around her — to her father, her husband and even her sister. Yet this pasuk tells us that her suffering is acknowledged. She lives in silence, given to a man who did not choose her and left to navigate rejection and loneliness within her own home. Through naming her children Leah finds a quiet way to express herself, each name a whisper of pain and hope, a longing to be seen and loved.
Leah’s story reminds us that so much suffering, particularly in the context of domestic abuse, is hidden in plain sight. Pain can sit behind loyalty, image or community reputation. What we fail to see or to ask about can continue to echo through families and generations.
The Torah is showing us that silence itself has consequences. This pattern of silence, this ripple, stretches far beyond Leah.
Here the responsibility lies squarely with Lavan whose control denies Leah and Rachel their agency and dignity. The Torah’s focus is not only on his wrongdoing. It is on the ripples that spread when voice and
choice are taken away. Patterns of control, coercion and silence can repeat across generations if no one steps in to break them.
“To hear the cry of the unheard is the task of Judaism itself.” Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, Lessons in Leadership
Our task then is to become a community that hears those cries, that notices what is unspoken and responds with compassion.
To see and signal safety, making clear that disclosure will be met with care not judgement
To improve our noticing, by learning to recognise signs of isolation or distress
To ask gently, sometimes as simply as “Are you safe at home?”
In Vayetze, Jacob’s eventual decision to leave Lavan’s house marks a turning point, a move away from deception and control. It hints at the possibility of change, that the ripple of harm can be stopped and something new can begin.
Our challenge is the same, to ensure that silence does not have the final word. It is our responsibility to create homes, schools and communities where every voice is valued, every person is seen and where the ripples we send into the world are those of empathy, courage and care.
That is why JWA Shabbat is such a vital part of our community calendar — a time to notice what too often goes unseen, to stand with those whose voices have been silenced, and to reaffirm our shared commitment to safety, dignity and change.
Together, we can stop the ripple of domestic abuse.